Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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