Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
