Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need help removing her.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
A bitchslap is in order.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
