don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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