Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
