I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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