Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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