God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
