I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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