i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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