its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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