If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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