im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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