69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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