If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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