barbara walters just said penis...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize