there was a trapeze. enough said
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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