all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They have beer where we have blood.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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