I showed him my bush... on skype.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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