when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize