All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
