I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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