Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
