: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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