11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I will pee on everything he values.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize