hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
