seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
