It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
