He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
