I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
