I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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