I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
