question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do herpes really smell.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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