based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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