Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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