She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
