Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
