at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We named our party play list daddy issues
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
