My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
PANTIES FOUND
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