Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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