I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
