He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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