Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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