I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
