he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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