I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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