what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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