so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
