We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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