Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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