I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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