we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I miss vodka workout Fridays
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
