be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
