his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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