i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize