Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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