thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize