are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
