You can't motorboat a personality
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
