I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
